Its Saturday 24th April 2017 and for me, the last four days have been long and emotional.
I had my appointment on the 3rd of April with the consultant that is going to be doing my surgery. They estimated the grade of the tumour a grade 3, fast growing and aggressive. Okay – no problem, lets get this bad boy out then shall we?? Not that simple, nothing seems to be simple anymore. I had to make a decision – a BIG decision.
Apparently there was no right or wrong with regards to whipping it out. It could stop growing, it could carry on growing, I could have seizures before surgery, I could have them after. I could have a stroke, get meningitis, lose the sight in my left eye, I could get lots of things associated with tumours and surgery or I could get nothing and simply carry on as normal and make do with the headaches that greet me every day, and prepare for surgery in a few years time. Blimey, I never realised how difficult it could be to make such a decision. I have wanted children for some time and this year was supposed to be ‘the year’ that my family dreams would come alive. No such luck with me, I like to throw in a few hurdles to jump over first. Mum and Dad always said I was a problem child (and a hypochondriac), this proves them right! Okay, okay, so lets put the whole family making thing on hold for a while and focus on getting this nasty thing that is not part of me, out of me. Lets do it!! Lets have major brain surgery, reconstruction of the skull and eye socket, and tissue and muscle replacement – YAY!! I sooooooo can’t wait (said very sarcastically)……
Cool, so I was hoping to get booked in for another MRI and CT scan early June with the op to follow late June early July time. This was just as I expected given the NHS waiting times and the fact it wasn’t an urgent procedure. I would a few months to sort cover at work and teach my assistant (and good friend) how to do my work whilst I was away recovering. I had time to get my head around having surgery.
Nope – fuck that, that’s far too simple (again going back to nothing being simple anymore). I received a call from Addenbrookes hospital on Wednesday 19th April from a lovely lady asking if i can come in for my pre-op assessment on Friday. She informed me that my operation was booked in for the 28th. “28th of what month” I asked, “this month Mrs Foster, next Friday” she replied. Whhaaaattttt!!!????……..my heart skips a hundred beats, the phone goes down and I cry. Shit just got real.